A friend started an email to me with…”I don’t want to be a burden as I know you already have so much on…” That made me question what does being a burden mean to me? For me a burden is doing a task that I don’t want to do, almost against my will. So I am responsible for this task through obligation and as a result feel put upon or hard done by. Then I realised that this is where me and my friend differed, she believes that she does do things that fall into this category, whereas I don’t believe I can do things against my will. I believe that I am always choosing to do what I want and how I feel. Even if it is cleaning up my child’s vomit I am doing it because I want to prioritise my child’s welfare and the cleanliness of my home, if I chose not to clean the vomit there will be different set of consequences, but I still have the choice of doing it differently.
So which is right and which is wrong I hear you ask? There isn’t one! They are both just different ways of thinking, the first makes you a victim of your circumstance and consequently you have a difficult time carrying out the tasks you are ‘obliged’ to do, you end up feeling frustrated, annoyed and exhausted. The later puts you in the driving seat, you deciding what you want to do and how you want to feel doing that task…which leads to an experience that is liberating and empowering.
Here is the cruncher that people ask me very frequently, how do you get yourself to a place where you can see things that way?…the answer is that it is just a decision!…if you need help with making that decision then contact me. I have worked with many many people to achieve just that through doing workshops and one to one sessions…it is easy when you know how, Rekha.J