How does the Option Process® Dialogue work so Effectively?
The key principles of The Option Process Dialogue:
- The Option Process Dialogue helps the explorer uncover the beliefs that underlie their feelings and behaviours in response to events and external factors. After or during the process explorers may decide to alter or jettison those beliefs in order to change the feelings and behaviours.
- There are no right or wrong answers. The explorer chooses the focus of the exploration throughout the process the Mentor-Counsellor will follow your answers with a question designed to help you uncover your beliefs on the issue.
- Explorers are their own best experts with regards to what they think, feel and believe.
- Option Process Mentor-Counsellors ask questions but make no interpretations, give no advice and have no preconceived agenda or goal for those exploring.
- Explorers are always doing the very best that they can (based on their current set of beliefs)
- Explorers do not have to answer any questions that they do not wish to answer.
- Above all, Options Process Mentor-Counsellors are present, accepting, nonjudgmental and non-directive, with a deep sincere caring for the explorer.
- The content of the dialogue is confidential.
Many of us have been systematically taught by ourselves and others to use discomfort as a strategy to take care of ourselves and to get what we want. By using The Option Process Dialogue to examine your beliefs, you can unteach this strategy and instead improve your health, career, relationships and quality of life.
Preparation for a Dialogue
All you need to do to prepare for a dialogue is to make yourself completely available without distraction for 50 mins of the session.
It may help you to prepare for a dialogue by thinking beforehand about the issues you want to explore. If it helps, you could even make a list bullet points for yourself.
During the dialogue, say the first thing that comes into your head, without filtering or editing things out that you might at first think of as inappropriate or someone might think I am stupid etc, etc. I just trust it is the most useful thing to say and just let it flow.
Reading any of the Option books is a great idea a few chapters of Happiness is a choice by Barry Neil Kaufman, as is listening to any of the Option Process CD’s. I have found the more I have come to know and understand the Option Process the faster I have got at getting myself to a place I want within a dialogue.
An option process dialogue is a session with a mentor that asks you non-directive questions, always starting with the question: What do you want to explore?
I’ve been involved with counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists and each of them have their place and have helped me in different ways, but the thing I’ve felt was the most powerful has been option process dialogues. I think this is because it relies on you supplying your own answers and relying on your own wisdom and trusting yourself. It is empowering and leads to in(ter)dependence rather than continued need to see the practitioner. The other reason it is powerful because it facilitates self-reflection on beliefs and the things we tell ourselves in a very fast and direct way. I’ve seen again and again how a simple belief that I empower that seems to be a useful/good belief can become something that helps me create negative and unhappy experiences for myself.
The best mentor I’ve worked with has been Rekha Neilson. There were two reasons we started working with Rekha:
Rekha is located in the UK, closer to us in ever respect than any other mentor and excellent rates per session.
The reason I’ll continue to work with Rekha for a while is that she’s awesome. I get SO much out of each of my dialogues with her. She is totally present with me and non-judgmental, and asks such great questions. I’m constantly amazed how the questions totally unearth the kinds of logic and beliefs that I use to make myself unhappy, or angry, or fearful. I’ve left every session choosing to be energized and having learned more about myself.
“Rekha Nelson is extremely skilled as a mentor in the dialogue process. I felt completely loved and accepted by her in my multiple dialogues with her. She seems to have an incredible presence and intuition for asking the absolute right question to break through and take you from examining your behaviors and feelings, to identifying their underlying beliefs that often you didn’t even know you held. I had some of my greatest epiphanies during my dialogues with Rekha, and as a result, changed limiting beliefs I had held for many years. She is an amazing woman that radiates love, warmth, and intelligence. Sitting with her in a dialogue feels completely safe and contained as you navigate your own psyche and look at your issues. I truly believe that any explorer in a dialogue would be blessed to have Rekha as a mentor. She is splendid.”
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