Had a beautiful dialogue with a new client in Eastern Europe this morning. During our conversation, he talked a lot about not knowing what he wanted.
I remember many years ago saying the same or similar thing, but I notice I don’t do it so much now. Some of my reasons for changing were that it helped me get more accepting of where I am, clearer about where I want to go, and so more effective at achieving that.
So how do you get to a place of knowing? Well for me it was all about letting go of the fear and self judgement.
How many of us are brought up with phrases like “I want, doesn’t get” we are indoctrinated in a belief that wanting something is bad, selfish, greedy, and so we motivate ourselves with misery to get that thing, and when we get it we are exhausted! So I adopted a new moto, “If you don’t want, you’ll never get”. I can want something, go after it with all my energy and if I don’t get it, SO WHAT! I can change my want…
However this is where the fear used to kick in. Most people are afraid to ‘want’ something because if they set themselves up with a goal and they don’t achieve it then they ‘have to’ to label themselves as a ‘failure’. But hang on, who created that set up? You right? so why not change it too something else like. “Me not achieving this goal means that there is something even better out there? Or I am yet to learn something new to achieve it? or Being happy in the light of not getting what I went for, is going to be my prize” We are making up every version so why not buy one that gives you inner peace rather than self judgement and stress?
If you need a helping hand, contact me 🙂